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Saturday, November 10

Evidence vs. Peer Influence

DISCLAIMER:  This is not a post about what other people should do regarding child restraints. It's just an example of how we were able to use logic, reasoning, and evidence to explain our parenting decisions to our daughter.
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I seem to have reoccurring conversation with my daughter. Lately, it's been coming up more and more often.

My daughter, Maya, who is seven years old, asks, “Mom, why can't I sit in a booster seat?? I'm 7 and a half! All of my friends sit in boosters, and I still have to sit in this crummy car seat. I'm not a baby!” Peer influence is huge at this age. She thinks she should be doing what her friends are doing.

Usually, I simply tell her that I care about her safety and her car seat with the 5-point harness is safer than any booster on the market. I ignore the peer impact, because, I've felt like it was a simple answer: We really don't care what your friends are doing, we have decided that you will stay in your car seat. But, recently that simple statement didn't seem to keep her from arguing the point. She wanted to know WHY. Why are we forcing her to stay in her car seat???

I will tell you why. But, first, let me just report, if you don't already know, that:

INJURIES FROM MOTOR VEHICLE CRASHES ARE THE LEADING CAUSE OF DEATH FOR CHILDREN.

According to the CDC, “placing children in age- and size-appropriate car seats and booster seats reduces serious and fatal injuries by more than half.” HALF.  Notice, that they don't just talk about age. It's actually related to size as well. This concerns me a great deal because Maya is small, but as she points out, so are other children.

Here's one of Maya's recent examples of why she should be allowed to move to a booster seat. “Jessie*(another 7-year-old) doesn't sit in a booster, AND she rides in the front seat!”  And, well, she's right. I can't tell you how many times I have watched people driving away from our elementary school in newer cars (read: have front airbags), with their children in the front seat. Yes, in all cars with front airbags, there is a CLEAR label on the front side of the visor. Here's the one from our car.
 



 
 
 
 
I find it hard to believe that people will ignore something right in front of their faces. Obviously, they do, but, I don't care what other people think or do. I wanted to know what Maya thought, so I decided to have her read the visor after she was questioning me the other day. Yes, it says that the safest place for all children under 12 is the backseat. TRUE STORY. I told Maya that I will always chose the safest, least harmful option for her. She seemed to understand this written out explanation.

So, when Maya cited another friend as an example, “Mom, Sally* sits in a booster seat, and she is only 5 AND shorter than me!” I decided to let her read a little more evidence. This time, we decided to look at information from the AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics). I told Maya that there is a lot of motor vehicle crash research. We talked about how they do all sorts of experiments crash testing cars, and researching why and how people (and kids) die or are badly injured when they are involved in a crash. Based on the findings of this sort of research, the AAP, has released new guidelines based on the “best evidence” for keeping children safe.
 
Maya is, well, small for her age. At age 7, she weighs 44 lbs, so she's in the 9th percentile for weight, and is 47 ½ inches tall, placing her in the 22nd percentile for height. I tell her that she's just perfectly petite. And, she is.

Maya and I decided to have her look at the recommendations from the AAP:

All children 2 years or older, or those younger than 2 years who have outgrown the rear-facing weight or height limit for their car seat, should use a Forward- Facing Car Seat with a harness for as long as possible, up to the highest weight or height allowed their car seat’s manufacturer.

Maya has two car seats for each of our cars: the Britax Marathon and the Britax Regent. The Marathon has an upper weight limit of 65 lbs, while the Regent's is 80 lbs. The Marathon's upper height limit of 49 inches, and the Regent is 53 inches.  She is currently 44 lbs, and 47 ½ inches, so indeed, she will be in both the Marathon and Regent a bit longer.  But, finally, she seemed to understand that there was a REASON why we were having her stay in the car seat so long. We aren't just mean.
Maya and I also read through the information about booster seats:
All children whose weight or height is above the forward-facing limit for their car seat should use a Belt-Positioning Booster Seat until the vehicle seat belt fits properly, typically when they have reached 4 feet 9 inches in height and are between 8 and 12 years of age.
4 feet, 9 inches. NOT, 49 inches, as I have heard from more than one person. Seriously. That is actually 57 inches. Our son, who is 9 years old, and is in the 85th percentile for height is currently 55 inches. Yes, he will be sitting in his booster seat for a bit longer as well. And, you can bet your tail they will both being sitting in the backseat at least until they are 12!
What I loved about showing all this evidence to Maya was that she was able to understand the reasons why we are choosing this scenario for her. You have to level with children, at times. What other people choose to do, is not always the best situation for you. This can apply to SO many instances that will come up later in her life. Peer pressure and a desire to follow the crowd is huge. But, I want her to continually ask, WHY? Those people over there are doing that, why aren't we? This is why. Logic, reasoning and evidence worked well, this time.
I also told Maya that other people are free to choose what to do with child restraints in their own vehicles. We do what WE think is best. We can't decide for other people, just as we don't want them to decide for us. Just think what they might choose, right?!

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